See Me

See Me!

May 25, 2016

A friend was sharing about his and another friend's depression recently. Both men had long struggled with depression. Through the years they had a daily conversations, and as they moved apart, it was most often by phone.  In the conversation in question, our common friend said, "I don't have a friend in the world."  The irony was that he had thousands of friends - including the friend on the phone.  At that moment he just could not see anything, except the enormity of the issue before him.

Such is the nature of depression.  It makes the seeing blind - to hope.  It is a wind so fierce, it whisks away words of hope and encouragement from perfectly functioning ears.  Reason is nearly gone, if not gone completely.  The onslaught of depression is merciless.  The ravages to mind and spirit are further complicated by an assault on the body.  Vitality is gone.  Lethargy sets in.  Work, play and worship is affected.  Eating patterns change.  Some eat more, others eat less.  Sleep patterns are disturbed.  Listlessness, lethargy and loss sets in.  Intimacy is no more.  Isolation sets in.  Incapacity becomes the norm.  When this state endures for longer than two weeks, the subject is likely clinically depressed.  In other words - friends and loved ones should be alerted that a state of emergency is in place.

The cry of the depressed is, "See me!" In our culture this is all too often a silent cry.

It is further complicated by the way we respond to those around us who are struggling.  Our social norms have created in us a set of rules by which intervention is perceived as intrusive, "Well, I don't know him well enough to say anything."  We are programmed for a distorted sense of politeness rather than encouraging boldness in order to save another.  We have also fallen under the spell of professionalism.  In other words, you can only do something if you are trained in that particular area of knowledge.  we also have a distorted sense of social obligations.  After the fact - after a tragedy, the cry is, "Somebody ought to do something about this!"

How about we learn to do what our ancestors did as a matter of course?  Present generations are 10 times more likely to suffer from depression than those who lived in 1945.  It is impossible for such a dramatic change to take place in the gene pool in that short of a time.  We have lost, or substituted skills our predecessors used as a matter of course.  Community for one.  Oh, there are those who would argue that community exists today and point to examples of ranches, or farms wiped out, then restored by the benevolence of neighbors.  That is compassion, but community, by it's very nature, means we belong to each other as brothers, sisters - family.  When the going gets tough, family talks through the tough times.  This is the lost skill which has become a priceless commodity.  We need to re-instill the art of communication.  It could be said that when we see another struggling, we are more likely to Google resources for depression, text another smiley face icon to brighten their day, and if talk does occur, it is likely to yet someone else, "Did you hear?"

Talk, the right sort of talk, could make some dramatic changes.